I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
i need some magic done to my vagina
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
