yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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