it was like fucking gandolphs beard
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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