he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
