I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
