Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
handjob tips. give me some.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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