She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
50% drunk capacity currently
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
