in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
