You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
