One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
