i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
In America we eat man semen.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize