Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
