i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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