My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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