we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
