he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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