Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
