If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
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