Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
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