Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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