I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize