i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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