Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
