shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
