do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize