I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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