He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
