I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize