Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
