Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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