Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
