You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
