Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
