good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
