its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
