He kissed a someone with a penis
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
What a dumb baby whore.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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