There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
