just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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