New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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