forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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