i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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