i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Damn victory sex feels great
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
