This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I just had sex on a roof
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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