so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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