i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
