I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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