She is in my trunk
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize