Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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