I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
