Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
