Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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