Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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