My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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