I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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