Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
