Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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