hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Randomize
