so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
