well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
