Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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