Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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