pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
