Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
