I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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