Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
