I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
