Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
