you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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