I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
