Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
