I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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