I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
