Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
