So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
